Mafia Asks Feds for Same Deal ACORN is Getting

Today the head of New York's Five Families called on the Obama Administration to extend to them the same federal financing currently being given to ACORN, another criminal enterprise.

Spokesman Vito Fusilli said this:

"ACORN makes loans, we make loans. In fact, our loans have a much higher yield than anything that bunch of losers at ACORN does. They loan to prostitutes and pimps - we make them work for us. And we have a nice collection of drug dealers too.

And who does community organizing better than we do? We have capos and soldiers, godfathers and enforcers. We're organized, baby. We know where the bodies are buried...or at least what's left of them after they've been organized.

And all of our people are members of the SEIU (Sicilian Employees International Union). We're naturals for federal money."

The Obama Administration is considering the request, and may fund the plan using some of the billions in yet unspent Stimulus money.

Said White House Spokesman Robert Gibbs:

"They've made us an offer we can't refuse."

(Yes, this is satire but I had you going for a minute there because nothing would surprise any of us about this administration.)