Bernard Goldberg, the Next Nobel Peace Prize Winner

The former CBS newsman lists his qualifications:

I just got some very good personal news. I found out I almost certainly will win the next Nobel Peace Prize.

No, I didn’t actually get a phone call from Oslo making it official. Not yet anyway. But who needs a phone call. I found out about my good fortune by turning on the television and learning that Barack Obama won this year’s Peace Prize. So I’m figuring, if he can win it, so can I.

Look, President Obama hasn’t brought peace to the Middle East, has he? Neither have I. He hasn’t ended the war in Iraq. Me neither. Obama hasn’t brought the troops home from Afghanistan and turned that God-forsaken mess into a peace-loving paradise. Guess who hasn’t done any of that either. How about Darfur? Obama and I are tied for doing nothing on that one, too. Gitmo? Neither of us have shut the place down.

The fact is Barack Obama has done absolutely nothing to bring peace to the world. Or as they say in Norweigan: “Absolutely. Nothing.” He got the award because five lefties on the Nobel selection committee got together and decided that they, just like America’s lame-stream media, have a slobbering love affair with the guy. Or to put it a slightly different way: Barack Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize because he’s not George W. Bush.

There's more at the link.

I'm beginning to like my chances next year, too.