HolyCoast: Disney Doesn't Want Any Silicone Pirate Wenches
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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Disney Doesn't Want Any Silicone Pirate Wenches

Shouldn't Gloria Allred find a buxom silicone-enhanced beauty to sue over this?
Disney is searching for real treasure chests for its upcoming shoot of the next "Pirates of the Caribbean" swashbuckler -- that is, women with natural breasts.

The movie studio has banned actresses with artificial enhancements for the fourth installment, "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides," directed by Rob Marshall and starring Johnny Depp as the drunken buccaneer Jack Sparrow.

The filmmakers sent out a casting call last week seeking "beautiful female fit models. Must be 5ft7in-5ft8in, size 4 or 6, no bigger or smaller. Age 18-25. Must have a lean dancer body. Must have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants."

And they warn that there'll be a "show and tell" day.

To make sure LA talent scouts don't get caught in a "booby trap," potential lassies will have to undergo a Hollywood-style jiggle-your-jugs test and jog for judges. If there's nothing moving from the waist up, they're saying, it's a dead giveaway that you're not all flesh and bones -- and you're out.

Apparently, the bouncier the better, especially for sword-fighting action sequences, according to the Sunday Times of London.

"In the last movie, there were enhanced breasts to give that 18th-century whorish look, and men were pretty well padded too, and no one worried," a former casting agent said. "But times are changing, and the audience can spot false breasts."

People have differing opinions on the subject, such as this exchange on The Office:
Kevin Malone: I love fake boobs. Often times you find them on strippers.
Creed Bratton: I find it offensive. Au naturelle, baby. That's how I like them. Swing low, sweet chariots.
Too bad we can't get Walt Disney's take on the subject. I don't remember them having situations like this when he was still making action movies.

2 comments:

Nightingale said...

If the girls have to have "lean" dancer's bodies, you can say adios to the boobies. Ever seen a dancer with a normal sized chest? No, because breasts are mostly fat, and lean dancers don't have much of that.

Could you imagine any other business asking a female applicant to do a "jiggle-your-jugs" test. The EEOC could have a field-day with these folks.

Also a woman can have implants and NOT look like Pam Anderson.

Disney ain't what it used to be.

Sam L. said...

Maybe I've been looking at the wrong things in these movies--the sword fights. There was something else moving?