Burglar's Night Out in Los Angeles

The City of Los Angeles, which manages to find time to honor every perverse lifestyle or personal perversion with city proclamation and special days, is adding one to the calendar: Burglar's Night Out in Los Angeles. The city is asking businesses and residents to turn off all nonessential lighting from 8-9pm Saturday night, Oct. 20 (the official name is Lights Out Los Angeles). This will give the thousands of burglars, junkies, hypes, gang bangers and addicts, who feed their habits by breaking into other people's property and stealing their stuff, a fair chance to do it without detection. When you add in California's tough handgun laws which hamper the ability of the good people to own weapons for self defense, Saturday night will be a criminal's paradise!

To honor Burglar's Night Out, the City Council requests that you to put your valuables on the porch or front lawn so that the city's human debris can maximize their efforts. But don't leave the porch light on - that would ruin the effect!

The Mayor and City Council thank you.