Hey, I'm a Minority! Where's My Check?

Orange County ain't just for white people anymore:

Thirty years ago, Orange County was home to Disneyland, the California Angels, Huntington Beach surfers – and a lot of white people.

The cultural icons are still in place, but Orange County's primarily white demographics have dramatically shifted. In 1980, white residents were a vast majority, making up 78.4 percent of Orange County's population. In 2007, according to a U.S. Census update released Wednesday, they accounted for just 46.9 percent.

Okay, here are my demands:

• Affirmative action for the white minority
• Government set asides for white business owners
• Establishment of the Congressional White Caucus
• Automatic hate crime charges for crimes against white people
• A white version of Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton to lead the cause
• Election of the white guy running for president. If you don't vote for him you're a racist.
• Reparations for losses suffered by my white ancestors at the hands of the majority

And that's just the beginning...