9/11/01- Debbie's Story

From the 9/11 Reader's Project - here's Debbie's story:

My story of my 9-11 experience....

I had just sat both kids down on the floor for a breakfast picnic and ran upstairs to get dressed, when the phone rang. It was my hubbie who is a police officer in our town was calling. He told me to turn on the tv, so I switched the channel from Nick Jr. to Fox News. We, my kids and I stood in front of the tv. My daughter was 8 at the time and I was home schooling her. My son was 3. I turned to look at my kids and they looked at me. My daughter knew something terrible happened and I saw the sadness and fear in her eyes. My son said, " what happened, Mommy?" We stood in front of tv it seemed forever, just stood there.

I finally realized I had been standing forever and said down on the couch, both kids crawled up beside me and on my lap. Here I am with 2 small children and except for the tv there was no noise. We didn't talk except I remember saying, oh my word and shaking my head. I called my husband back and we talked for a little while. Still we never moved from the couch. It was then the second plane came into the picture. I can remember gasping and just sitting in shock. Both of my kids saw these with me and what they both wanted to know why did that plane go into the building. I told them that I didn't know. The shock that was on the tv anchors faces and in their voices and the images that they were showing were almost more than I could take in. Was there something else coming? Was there something headed for our town? Were my kids and I safe? Was my hubbie safe? What was going on?

I realized how scared I was. I was scared but then the first tower fell. I hadn't thought about the buildings falling down. That cloud of ashes scared me more than than anything. The fear was paralyzing. We got up got ready for the day but we were never far from the tv. We ate lunch and I called my hubbie to ask if he thought we should stay home and not take my boy to preschool that afternoon. He told me that he didn't know but as far has he had been told we were safe. I loaded both kids in the van and we headed out. I remember the traffic seeming normal but it all felt strange. I dropped my boy off at preschool which was our church. Everyone was standing a huddles all over the church.

We all exchanged hugs which was normal but it felt different this time...more intense. The girl and I went to Dollar General down the street to pick up some things. We both were walking around the store and their were other people in there too. I was standing in an aisle with another woman. She glanced up at me and I saw that she was hurting. We all looked like the walking wounded. I asked her if she was alright and she told me yeah and then told me her story. She worked at branch of Cantor Fitzgerald in town, in fact she had been on the phone this morning with someone in that very office in one of the towers. She started to cry and I just stood and hugged her and cried with her. I looked down and my girl had wrapped both of her arms around our legs and was hugging us. I looked up and suddenly the aisle was full of folks looking concerned, afraid, you name it. We all just stood there and talked about the morning. It was like we didn't want to leave, but slowly we each walked away.

I was listening to the radio on the way home and they came on saying something about buying gas. I am not sure what all that was about but I stopped and filled up. I asked the attendant when I went in to pay if it had been crazy and he said that he had been in the last 2 hrs. The kids and I returned home and daddy came home. It all felt surreal. We had supper and then returned to church to watch President Bush's address to the nation. There were a lot of folks there and I was glad to be with my church family. We had some songs, some scripture and lots of prayer. I remember crying through most of it, but felt the fear ease up.

When President Bush came on and started speaking, I remember thanking God for him and praying for him. His speech cleared aloft of things up for me and I walked away less afraid and a lot more angry. It was a few days before I slept in our bed cause I just felt like I couldn't leave the tv. After awhile I let go of the tv because I finally figured out that it wasn't helping. We spent a lot of time outside with the neighbors. The kids played and the adults talked and talked and talked. It was therapy I believe for all of us. It was a real turning point for me in my love of our country and the freedoms that we have here. I could for the first time see the big picture and understand the war as a whole, the world as a whole. I understood more after watching all the stories on TV how we are all one people. When one of us hurts, we all hurt. But I also understood Satan better too. I just hope that we never forget what happened.